To See It Coming
by midnightmuse
Summary: On the Day of the Dead Sands is left without eyes, his sanity hanging by a thread and all but dead himself. But Sands has more to do than just lay down and die there is always a balance to be restored, even if it is only the balance of his own mind. R
1. Chapter 1 Deathfall

Unfortunately I don't own Sands.. only my OC's in here.. reviews much appreciated

To See It Coming

He didn't remember how he got there... to the hospital.

Maybe Ramirez called an ambulance.. or chicle boy got him help..or he was just found like other casualties of the day of the dead.. it didn't much matter. It didn't much matter how he got there..and in truth he didn't much care that he was there. The drugs they had him on, to keep the pain at bay seemed to cloud his mind. He felt between sleep and awake.. between alive and dead, drifting between sanity and madness.. not that he had been too close to sane anyway

He did remember the voice.. lulling him to sleep.. whispering impossible possibilities... he decided he liked that voice.. purely because sometimes lies were better than some realities; like this one. Trapped by the blackness, weakened and in pain. An easy half dead target.

Some might expect him to consider the darkness of his own soul at such a time.. to take into account his own mortality and repent But he was Sheldon Jeffrey Sands and he did not beg, even to die. God knows that would come soon enough...

So he instead watched his own fall.. being blind was like freefall.. plunging so fast it was almost not like falling at all but flying.. Here lay the trap of insanity, that had waited so long to lure him in in some weakened moment.. to embrace what was deep in his soul. But in reality what else was there.. in his current situation..being sane would drive anyone mad.. so he stepped into the blackness and decided to enjoy the deathfall.. it was after all a one way trip.. never see its like again..

Sands gave a wry smile as he thought even his own fate was subject to his own twisted amusement.. just as long as they kept him drugged up and the pain didn't kick in too bad. this was funny.. even to him.. or especially to him. Thats when he knew he was insane.. twisted beyond all recognition.. and that he always had been.. but then again.. that was his only advantage here.. he hadn't the sense to just lay down and die.. he couldn't even begin to  
do what was expected off him.. maybe he was so far gone he had looped right back round to sane.. he thought in a brief moment of bright clarity maybe it didn't matter what the fuck he was as long as they kept the morphine pumping into his vein.. and some sweet voiced nurse told him it would all be alright...

.. and it would.. after all... he threw shapes.. and he was walking out of here soon. where ever the hell 'here' was.. and introduce the local deserving residents to his own brand of hell.. oh it took a lot more than having your eyes drilled out to slow Agent Sands down.. he vaguely wondered if referring to himself in the third person should worry him.No being blind offered a new clarity.. of sorts.. however several fucking bullet holes about his person.. including his thigh.. that.. that would slow his dramatic exit from this medical facility...that and he had yet to select any particular target for his special brand of attention.. keeping the balence was a whole different kinda fun.. when technically now as gloriously unbalenced as he felt.. it brought a whole new delicious freedom.. and some demented Pollyanna side to him was enjoing itself far to frigging much. Oh he was gonna have a ball.. he told himself.. but best rein it in he warned himself.. to much maniaical laughter at this precise point in time was more likely to lead to heavy sedation and straight jackets than world domination.. he smiled to himself... and listened to the footsteps as someone approached his bed


	2. Chapter 2 meetings

"Agent Sands?" . Sands turned his head.. more out of habit; it wasn't as if he could see who was talking to him any better, now was it, he thought to himself. "Good your awake again. .I was hoping to speak to you again, when you were more.. with it, before you went for surgery" The doctor said "Seems your famous.. or is that infamous it was the first time even we specialists here had seen a home-done enucleation (eye removal ) but luckily it, even then, it is a proceedure where ordinary painkillers are sufficiant, I expect the gunshot wounds are giving you more pain.. "

"I find your confidence.. reassuring" Sands said sarcastically .. it was a tone he adopted by habit .. In fact it was practically standard issue to his CIA field kit, he thought to himself. Was he still CIA though?.. . probably only technically now he was on the road to being pensioned off with a disability. He didn't like thinking that way about himself.. twisted, insane, a murderer.. all that was fine.. no problem there.. but not that D word.. . "So where is 'here'?" Sands quickly said with a shrug. Might as well start with the most obvious of basics, or some variation of them; wake up, say 'where am I?' he smiled slightly to himself as he ticked that off the cliche checklist

"Lamtech Hospital; its a center of excellence for eye surgery and prostetics. . " the doctor replied

"Thats great.. but I hate to break it to you but I have no eyes"

"Hence my adding the term 'prostetics'" the Doctor said in a businesslike tone, "You know prostectic eyes have moved on in leaps and bounds, its amazing what can be acheived they are incredibly realistic these days.. you'd never know to look at them" he said.

"I'd know.. " Sands said tilting his head to one side "One slight give away, this side of them., I bet" he said dryly

"Well.. yes." the Doctor replied.. with a slight sigh.. "we have some work to do, to get you on the road to recovery and .. some normality."

"You don't say.. but it basically will just be dressing up the same problem in a more acceptably 'pretty' looking package, right?"

The doctor ignored Sands tone and direction in this, he had the standard information speech to give and he was on a roll and reluctant to stop now. "It would be helpful if we had some recent photographs of you to get it looking as, near your previous self as it can be. As I said we are a center of excellence, but we are not only that..we also conduct research.. we do need to do some testing to see what possible options for which particular proceedures are most suitable for you, that will include some other assessments of your situation will need to be done, it is some weeks before any medical proceedure can even begin. that will give more than sufficiant time psychological profiling, possible counselling amoung other things. " the doctor said, making it obvious in his tone this was not his area, nor was it coming from the medical side of things here at the hospital.

"Suitable for what in particular?" Sands said "And why does it need profiling for it?" he said. The Doctor ignored the question,by answering a different unasked one instead.

"We will be starting some reconstructive surgery right away, then we have to pack the eye socket for a week or so,everything can be conducted then and resolved. " He said with a brief, and quite unnecerssary businesslike smile. "The reconstruction should go fine.. any difficulties we can go the more extensive prostetic route.. but I see no real need for that.." he checked the elasticity of Sand's skin around where his eyes had been. "Yes, thats good. I will check up on you later, after the surgery." he said leaving so Sands could be prepared for it.

Waking up felt a bizarre experience. It wasn't just the drugs from the general anesthetic that was doing it, though they too were having their affect. It was waking up into darkness.. an endless night.. It was only in his dreams he could see. Reality was again.. deficient. Sands stiffened as he heard someone approach, someone he felt an interent hostility for, for they could see him as they approached and he lacked the ability to do the same. So he listened instead. Heels... quite high.. he tilted his head as she approached. "Agent Sands" she said.. it sounded like there was a smile in her voice. .. that voice. The voice he had found so comforting before.. it felt like days ago now.. in his darkeness the passing of time was something he was in danger of losing track off

He wanted to keep some things together.. he really did; he was just selective about what.

She had stopped right next to the bed and had taken his hand and shook it. He hadn't quite expected that, he wondered what message she was trying to give with that, business-like but humane, perhaps. "I am Agent Dr Sara Clarke, I was sent to do some of the assessments on your treatment. The CIA is interested in some possible treatments being developed here but we want to see how your doing first, before final treatments are decided on" she paused, he guessed she was smiling at him, just because he couldn't see it, it didn't mean people shed their established habits, and she was someone who sounded like she smiled.

"An agent and a doctor?" Sands stated "Which hat are you wearing now?" he asked

"Well... I am being a doctor, for the CIA, a doctor of psychology, I am meant to assess how you are bearing up" her tone was being kept light, he could tell.

"I have had better weeks" Sands said with a wry smile

"I can imagine" Sara said.

"Imagination, doesn't quite cut it.. it takes the bloody reality to really get it. " Sands said with a dry tone.

"Quite, though I read your file, seems it took more than being blinded to stop you. What do you think that is down to?" she asked

"Oh.. probably the luscious cocktail of drugs Guevera pumped me full off" Sands said in a slow playful tone .

"I think there is more to you than that, Agent Sands, much more. " she replied.

"Are you flirting with me Honeybun?" Sands said with a slight smile.. Seemed the CIA had send some entertainment his way, that and the real reason they had sent a psychologist along to assess him, there had to be a reason for that.. if they were retiring him for blindness he would be offered.. if he wanted it counselling after the fact.. after they had got rid of him.. not before.. But this was prior to treatment.. almost like they were hinting he had some real options in the pipeline.. he .. forgive the pun, he told himself.. just couldn't see it. But that didn't mean he wouldn't milk this for all the private twisted entertainment he could get out of it.


	3. Chapter 3 the games begin

Sara looked over at Agent Sands and surpressed a slight sigh instead she tucked her hair behind her ear drawing up a chair up and sat next to the patient in the bed. She looked him over, the bandages over where his eyes had been were only slightly distracting, that is until you thought about quite how and why they were missing.. and that gave even someone meant to be as cold and analytical about this, pause for thought. "No not flirting" she said "I just read your files extensively before coming up here." she said

"Do I take it I have a fan then?.. or if your not a field agent groupie when you get out from behind your desk... what exactly wanting with me... if not ..'that'? " he said with a slight smile.

"I told you.. I am here to see how your holding up, and what we can do for you." she said. ignoring his comments when addressed to the subject of his ego, she was sure feeding that would be a mistake, though on reading his file she had been quite struck by the fact that he was the most interesting character she had come across in quite some time.. there was something quite unique, and no doubt twisted abot this agent Sands; hence being careful not to feed into his games too much.

"Oh I am just peachy Darlin', and what you can do for me?" a mischeivious smile crossed his lips "Well unless your meaning that in the 'groupie' way.. you could donate your eyeballs.. or is it only field agents they ask that off?" he said.. careful to keep any tone of bitterness about the agency out of his voice.. a shrink from them would have a field day with that. Though that was not the real reason he avoided even the merest hint of it.. it would have been predictable, and he was anything but that. "But if you are meaning it in the groupie way.. I have this.. ache.. " he 'looked' towards his groin.. with a smirk..

"I'll bet you do.. comes of being a legendary pain in the arse I expect" Sara responded swiftly

"Touche' " Sands said with a pleased smile.. this would hardly be entertaining if she was the type to roll over and play dead at the first sarcastic comment. "So what happened to the 'you' that was all sweet nurturing concern.. telling this 'legendary pain in the arse' it was all going to be fine.. and what definition of fine were you working on? " he said with a tilt of his head. Sara paused.. she had not expected him to remember anything of when he first arrived, he was so weak with blood loss and soon drugged up completely. She wondered just how much else he remembered, if he carried in horrific detail being blinded. She had chosen to believe the doctors and her own proffessional experience that the brain tended to protect itself and shut out all such traumatic memories.. yet something about Agent Sands told her he did nothing the typical way.

"You remember that?" she said, hesitantly

"I remember lots of things" he said ambiguously, he smiled a tight short lived smile at her. "You were full of what sounded meaningless platitudes; assuring me everything would be fine." he didn't want to admit that these had struck home.. something about them, or more how she had said them, had him believing her. He had a hard time believing in anything, but she had got through.. maybe it was the stuff that had men making deathbed conversions and finding a faith with their last breath, but he rather thought it was something he had heard in her voice..but that might always be because he didn't want to think that even at such a time, he Sheldon Jeffrey Sands , was not that weak and ordinary.. so he gave her a sarcastic looking smile and pressed on "Now I'd hate it to sound as if I am so mundain to delusionally cling to false hope.. but lets face it, your being here.. not CIA standard proceedure when an officer is down.. I assume your time is not exactly cheap and it is not an optimum use of resources to have you here, when I am just to be pensioned off.. or am I missing something?" Sands said.. a sharp edge to his voice.. he didn't mind showing that, that he was no fool and wasn't to be treated as if he were, whatever the circumstances.

"No your not missing something." she stated. "The powers that be," she paused.. how to phrase this.. "they want to know what it is about you that kept you going that day, against severe odds..that in itself is not so rare.. survival instinct.. but you did more than survive, your actions were far more than that. They want to know what made you able to do that, what use that information and you might be to them.. I can't say" She shrugged.. there was more to her being asked to profile and assess his state of mind, but she didn't want to give false hope. That would be un-neccersarily cruel so she would rather avoid even the chance of that.

"Cant or wont?" Sands, gave her a business-like smile again. He was no fool.. there was more she wasn't saying, to coin a phrase, even a blind man could see that.

"Both" she replied, as she folded her arms and sat silently, not willing to give first in what she saw was swiftly becoming a game of wits to Agent Sands. Sands smiled, again he liked her style, not just that there was a ready reply to any slight barbs he sent her way, but she wasn't playing things the predictable CIA way, she might be some sport; even without the shadowy hint of some unknown prize.

Sands tilted his head in her direction.. he smiled at the extending silence.. she was good. most people folded quicky and spoke first to avoid an uncomfortable silence.. she obviously wasn't that type.. he had a more below the belt tactic, it would also test how true the concerned caring tone in her voice was... this was of course the information gathering part of 'the game'

"I can't hear you.. " he said in a slow drawn out way.. so obviously robbed of another vital sense.. his senses were primed to read her reaction.. he heard the slight hitch in her breathing.. he had made her feel bad about keeping silent.. he began silently counting.. like counting for the lightening after a thunder clap to see how near the storm was.. only this was to see how near to her, her conscience was..

"Thats because I wasn't saying anything.. I didn't realize you needed to know more" she said.. her tone was slightly defensive.. but not sharp, he noted

"I always need more.. or didn't my file make that clear about me?" he said with a tone that said he found this slightly amusing.

"It made clear you need your own definition of balance, care to tell me more about that?" she said, wanting to catch back her being in control of this assessment, like she was meant to be.. intead she had the nasty feeling he was assessing her more than she was being allowed to see any of him he didn't want seen .

"Care to tell me why you really want to know.. or is it just professional idle curiousity about why balance matters to someone so obviously unbalanced?" he said with an amused wry tone.

"You think your unbalanced?" she shot back

"Your the proffessional.. isn't it your job to tell me, or am I meant to be doing your job for you?"

"No.. " she said firmly "I don't think I want you doing your version of my job for me.. or on me?"

"Awhhh your no fun.. it could be real interesting in a 'I'll scratch your back you scratch mine', kind of a way" he said in a playful tone

"Why do I get shadows of Hannibal Lector, saying to make it 'Quid pro Quo'?" she said with a smile he could easily hear in her voice.

"Maybe that says more about you than it does about me there 'Clarisse' " he chuckled

"Now its my turn to say.. 'Touche'.. " she said.. she smiled over at him.. he was interesting, if possible more interesting in person than on paper.. all to often her patients conditions were more interesting than they themselves ever managed to be.. he at least was different.. and she hadn't failed to notice damn good looking, she after all was not the one that had, had her eyes removed. No doubt that also helped with his legendary arrogence.. the fact that even now he could quicken a womans pulse.. "So .. " she said.. still looking intently at him.. noticing he tilted his head as if trying to capture what the tone in her voice meant.. she tried to tell herself this was just him attempting to compensate for the lack of sight, by trying to read with other senses what he was now missing.. but she knew it wasn't really that.. he was more like a predator sensing its prey. This made her sudder, though, she hated to admit it, not altogether in a bad way. "Are you willing to keep meeting with me for this assessment, the CIA can send me down here.. but they can't order you to co-operate.. rather obviously. I think it could be both interesting and rewarding" she said

"To you or to me?" he swiftly countered

"Both" she said with a smile.. one she saw echoed on his lips..

"Maybe it will.. " he said with a tone that sent a definite shiver down her spine


	4. Chapter 4 Deals

Sands let a slow smile cross his lips.. despite the pain of his wounds creeping into his consciousness.. or maybe partly because of them, he always was a perverse bastard, and besides the pain told him he was really alive.. too much living in his head was bad for him.. either one of them.

He had let his libido govern him a tad too much with that cold hearted, however hot in bed she was, Ajedrez, and it was just tough for every other female on the planet if he happened to remember that from here on in. It was purely coincidental he told himself wryly that this new found self control just happened to coincide with not being able to see how darn goodlooking any other female on the face of the planet happened to be... He allowed himself to frown for a moment at this rather depressing revelation..

Sara watched him intently, as his expressions subtly changed "What are you thinking off right now?" she asked

Sands shrugged.. "Just thinking of a few things I will never see again.. you know.. specifics.. rather than the general blanket statement.. of 'can't see that again' " he said dryly

"What specifics?" she pressed on.. despite Sands irritated sigh at this

"Oh.. the 'beautiful sunset' .. a childs innocent face.. summer flowers and bluebirds.. what the fuck do you think" he snapped

"None of those I am willing to bet" she said with a grin

"Oh a bet.. " he said.. a spark of interest in his voice.. "Well lets make this really interesting.. what are you willing to bet?" he asked with a smirk

"Your the fan of 'quid pro quo'.. how about for every question of mine you answer truthfully of course.. I will answer one of yours the same" she offered.. he was only going to co-operate if he saw this as a game he would enjoy.. she could already tell that much about him.. it also explained a lot about how he had conducted his career.. it had seemed strange before.. for an agent of such obvious intelligence and potential to have not progressed as far as their promise allowed... but on meeting him it made total sense.. he didn't care who he pissed off.. or what HQ's aims were.. he was playing this for his own personal amusement... not that this latest result was part of the fun .. ending up blinded..

"And you think you'll know if I am lying, how?" he asked.. that increasingly familiar smirk laying on his lips

"Oh I'll know.. after all.. its my job to know" she replied, with a firm tone.. "So what were you really thinking off?"

"You really want to know?" he challenged.. with a tone that warned she probably would be better not knowing.. she tilted her head and looked at him more intently

"I really want to know" she confirmed "What were you really thinking you would never see again.. specifically?"

"Well if your talking.. specifics.. I was thinking of the things I like.. the curve of a womans neck, her shoulders.. of course there is also the more obvious and predfictable.. her breasts, the inner thigh.. want me to go on?" he smiled.. making quite clear, he would in the greatest of detail if she wanted, or perhaps with even more pleasure if she didn't want

"You know I think we can do without you listing every.. feature.. Funnily enough I am familiar with the female body.. having one.. though the male obession with it.. is.. mildly amusing.. " she said, with a drier tone than she perhaps intended.

"Amusing.. but necerssary.. how else to have us acting like mindless drones for you.. " Sands replied with an equal dead tone to his voice

"I don't quite see you playing the mindless drone for any female Mr Sands" she countered

"you don't see that coming do you?.. well maybe the mindless part.. once too often.. wouldn't you say?" he said.. almost more to himself

"So there was a girl?..A woman? " Sara said slowly ... "involved in your blinding?"

"Very... very much a woman... very much involved.. "

"And she is?" Sara asked.. meaning the womans name and who she was to Sands

"Dead.. she is very dead" Sands said firmly... in a 'he should know' tone he then shifted expression and tone.. "And that is three... three all too truthful answers.. I am owed my turn at this I think" he gave a slight smile.

" 'Too truthful'.. you see being honest as a problem, do you?" Sara instinctively asked, in analytical mode

"your going for four are you?.. why not.. I can see your on a roll.. no I don't see it as a problem.. as long as it serves my purpose.. and gets me the end results I want.. it'll do.. equally well as a lie.. better if its what will get the better result.. I am pragmatic in that.. adaptable.. in fact I like to adapt.. play to whatever circumstances I find myself in.. "

"As long as your in control.. " Sara echoed...

"As long as I am in control.. " He confirmed.. "So you can no doubt.. take it as read.. that .. these present circumstances.. are something of a bitch.. so to speak.. no offence" he added with too much relish

"None taken . .. believe me you'll know the instant you give any" she warned.

"Will I?.. " Sands chuckled "Oh I do hope so.. I hate a woman with no backbone.. a bit of fire is oh so welcome" he grinned "So much so I might have to even try to give offence ..just to make sure its really there.. and this is worth playing"

"Your forgetting Agent Sands.. I've read your files.. and its more than clear you don't have to put any effort in to giving offence...I mean that is why your superiors sent you down to Mexico.. so that they didn't have to deal with that side of you?"

"Indeed it was.. but now I am back.. and your in the front line having to deal with it.. I do hope they are paying you enough" he said wryly

"Well.. your Sheldon Jeffrey Sands.. Central Intelligence Agency.. your something of a legend.. the current betting has you down as a twisted psycho.. overdue for going postal on somebodies arse.. and as interesting as that would be to see.. I have no doubt.. I have to wonder.. are you really going to be that predictable.. something you have been anything but in your career?" she said with a smile

Sands frowned slightly in her direction.. not only at her quoting the start of his personal mantra, and making him wonder what else he let slip while pumped full of drugs and out of it.. but at her attempt to manipulate him, via others opinions of him.. even if it came with the ego boosting title of 'legend' he then smiled slowly "Well.. you don't know tha half of it.." he said.. to both the description of 'legend' and 'twisted psycho' "and since I apparently have never cared what others expect of me before.. or factored it in while playing the game, I would think I am unlikely to start now.. though purely for my own edification.. what do you think I am going to do?" he shot a smile over at her

"Maybe seek out that balance that apparently matters to you.. there is little else that seems to.. though if I were to hazzard a guess.. I would say, what ever amuses you most" she replied.

Sands let out a chuckle.. and 'looked' over at her... "well something.. fun would be.. due to me..around now.. after all this, don't you think?" Sara almost shivered again, at something in his voice.. it all sounded too reasonable, until she made herself remember what this man apparently found amusing.

"Perhaps.. what would you find fun agent Sands?" Sara said warily.

"You would be surprised what I find pleasure in dear Sara.. " Sands said in a disconcertingly soothing tone, "But one has to work with what you've got.. right?.. And what has the agency sent me?" he prompted

Sara looked at him questioningly for a moment before realization dawned "Me.. they sent you me.. " she replied quietly

Sands smiled "That they did.. It might get a wee bit dangerous Sugarbutt .Can you dig it?"

"I can dig it" she replied confidently.. while secretly wonderign what deal with the devil she had really just made..


	5. Chapter 5 the set up

Sara looked over uneasily at Sands... as he smiled.. "I'll be charitable.. just this once.. and count that as one of your truthful answers.. So. .. " he said. letting his honeyed voice soften.. "I take it you know more about why the CIA has sent you.. of all people.. down here over... well.. this" he gestured towards his bandages across his eyes "than I currently do.. and since it involves a subject close to my heart.. i.e. me.. So .. what did they send you to do.. specifically?" " he asked as he.. disconcertingly seeming to 'look' over at her again..

Sara was still slightly fazed by that .. she could swear that this man took in more blind than the average person did sighted.. in fact she was totally sure of it.. unfortunately so was he. .. the man was nothing if not the picture of confidence.. and she found herself wondering what you would find behind it, if you managed to dig all the way through it.. she was sure.. the blinding must have had some impact.. somewhere.. however she had to concentrate on not losing too badly at this damn game.. and then get her actual job done.. though his offer was more fun.. it was.. she had no doubt a slippery slope when you started playing with Agent Sands.

"I was sent to see how you are dealing with the torture you under went, and its possible psychological affects. The CIA always likes to know, how, how it predicted those it hired would react, and how they did... in fact if bad things happened.. I am meant to assess how ready for active duty.. you are.. obviously purely on a state of mind, basis, I believe there are some more experimental prosthetics that the hospital also want the chance to test out , perhaps"

Sands tilted his head. and seemed again to look in her directing.. he drummed his fingers for a moment on the bedside cabinet.. "Experimental.. you mean.. ones that actually help you to see?"

Damn Sara thought she was hoping he wouldn't pick up on that and ask directly like that.. she sighed "They don't think it can really do that in any way you'd recognise as seeing.. more.. some sensuary awareness" she tried to make it sound nothing

"But.. that all means seeing.. more seeing than I've got.. And for this. you want to know about torture?"" Sands said with an amused tone.. "Well for such a thing.. I best really pull something out if the hat,.. spill my guts on what the drill felt like when it went in?..What it feels like when the lights go out when your eyeball explodes under the drills tender attentions.. Or.. what its like to see the faces of those ready to do that to you.. people you far rather be killing for it.. rahrer than have 'it' done.. hell you'd kill them anyway.. right?" he smiled slightly.. "Or perhaps how it really feels to kill a man.. or woman.. but your main problem doctor.. is that you are approaching this as the doctor and not as the agent. To know you just have to do it.. " he leaned closer to her "see its like describing sex to a virgin, you can go for all the hot and heavy discription you like, but it just can never capture what its like.. the real deed.. the real deal.. words.. well.. they hardly cut it..right?" he chuckled "Thats why most people aren't having conversations as they fuck.. they just groan or scream their lungs out.. " he said close to her.. listening intently to her breathing as he talked in a lazy soft seductive tone he liked.. ." Then again do it.. I mean give yourself truly over to it.. and your screwed.. one way or another" he smirked over at her.. "Ok.. that was predictable.. but lets face it, the real problem here Doctor, is you can try and judge what its like to be me. and what I am.. how fit or sick... til your blue in the face.. but until you step into my skin.. and play for keeps.. anything less and you'll just never.. ever get it"

He listened for her reaction... he'd set a challenge.. and he was.. he had to confess mildly interested in her response.. there was little else to do to fill his time

"And you think that playing at being you would help me in some way?" Sara said with an incredulous tone.. even though hshe knew what he said made total sense.

"No.. not playing.. for real" he tilted his head.. ""Be me.. or part of me.. Well there is a thought.. Doctor..you want to see the world how I do.. there is a real simple way.. be my eyes.. "you said you were an agent, not just a doctor.. some blind folks get a seeing eye dog.. some a cane.. just for the hell of it.. Doc.. audition for the bit part.. of my eyes" he shot her a tight little smile.. Sara frowned.. he had set that up neat.. put her into a damn corner.. where to turn him down implied his superiority, that he had won that argument.. that she knew.. sighted.. she couldn't cut it on some real mission he could do blind.. and if she turned him down he was not the type to make such an offer again.. it was her one chance to get into his head and see how he worked.. she nodded slowly.. and looked over at him..

"Ok.. I am in.. I can do that.." she said.. in a confident tone.. she had pulled a few missions ok.. a few years back.. and othing like this.. rookie stuff.. but she'd be damned if she was folding this early in the game.. though she wasn't sure this was a game she really should be playing... there was something about Sands.. that she felt could mainipulate you even when you were trying to avoid that very thing..

"Thats good..sugar.. but just know.. this could get a bit messy.. Now.. we need to get us down to Mexico.. there is that good bit of pork that needs, evening out yet" he smiled over at her..

"I just know your just messing with me there... knowing there is no way I know what I've agreed to"

"Oh. murder.. mayhem.. your general .. and quite specific madness" he said.. with a smirk

Sara let out a sigh.. that should be no surprize. not when you were dealing with Sands.. but the reality of it.. was.. "Ok.. well.. " she said hoping for some time to get her head way around this.. "When do you expect to be.. going on this.. mission with me?" she asked

He flung back the bed sheets "No time like the present.. get the doctors to sign me out.. we fly to Mexico.. Do the dance number.. send a few deserving folks straight to Broadway.. and back here in time for the nice Docs. to do their next round of. .treatment.. and you to deliver your report on how sane and lovely I am" he chuckled

Sara sighed.. he was milking this.. but it was tempting.. the agency had halted her career as agent.. directing her to be a doctor.. she could be that anywhere.. that was not why she had joined the CIA... this character manipulated the whole game..mind games and no doubt mind fucks were his speciality..strangely.. that just made this all the more appealing. ..not that she planned on being screwed over by Sands.. but, the game.. getting out there for real. .and seeing how this very warped and just now, fractured character worked.. Hell no one would get this 'in' again.. he needed up close and personnel help.. and she was the only one with the invite.. she smiled.. "I doubt that will be the exact nature of my report, but if the doctors are willing to sign you out, I think we can work that, but you will be in my care, and its on the strict understanding that, when I call this, the game stops" she stated, she was not going to act this out as some puppy dog to be yanked around, just cos she was being his eyes for him,she was not passing up control that easily.

Sands read this in her tone and chuckled "What game?.. this is going to be.. horribly real.. blood, sweat and guts; real.. But.. you'll love it" he said with a glib tone, that was meant to just fall short of being any real reassurance "but before we race off to Mexico.. to go do missions and such.. lets see if we can handle the basics.. lets try.. " he looked as if he was searching for some suitable task.. "Walking.. take my arm, baby, and lets go down the corridor a way.. tell you what.. take me to the bathroom.. I have been ringing for the damn nurse for five minutes..and I need a piss.. " He smirked again "So can you handle it?" he said

"Handle what?" Sara asked in a shocked tone.. Sands chuckled..

"Hell I know ya find me irresistable , Doll, but not that.. not yet anyway.. " he teased..at least she thought he was teasing, Sara cursed slightly under her breath.. as she led Sands to the toilet.. she made mental lists.. she had to go talk to the CIA and get clearance for this.. she had a feeling they would let this one fly.. and then the doctors, to see if they would.. if Sands was fit to be out and around.. she would have to make sure of that.. and to get him any medications like pain killers needed , and she had a feeling she could definately make good use of a tranquilizer gun on him, if he was going to let his plans, and mouth run on as much as he liked.


	6. Chapter 6 back in Mexico

Two days later.. she was sat on a plane with a blind gun-slinger heading for whatever the hell was his idea of fun down south of the border... she wondered at her own sanity at agreeing to this, not for the first time. Still she also felt the thrill of excitement as these doubts also lead to an adrenaline kick. She looked over at Sands.. he was dressed all in black, with his now standard black raybans on.. his hair hanging loose, long and slighty messy, his skin was still almost too pale and she was sure he couldn't have really got his strenght back already, but the doctors let him go.. if only to not have to hear him still trying to talk them into it.

She was still looking over at him as the stewardess came over and offered them drinks.. he 'glanced' over at the woman and ordered a tequila, Sara found herself doing the same.. when in Mexico, so to speak. She was really looking at the results of the surgery, she had recently seen photos of him prior to the blinding, and she had to admit the reconstructive surgery, was fantastic, he still had a little brusing around his 'eyes'.. not that they were real eyes, but they truly looked it. All that was lacking was sight. Which perhaps was why Sands mood had not seemed to improve, or maybe he was always like that.. either way the stewardess was smiling and batting her eyelashes at Sands as she was serving them their drinks.. "Your wasting your time Honey" Sara said. dryly to the womans flirting.. it wasn't like Sands could see her doing any of this.. she took both drinks and slipped one into Sands hand, the woman gave her a scathing glare, assuming Sara was referring to herself as the reason for her flirting, having zero affect..

"Who is wasting what?" he asked quietly leaning in closer to Sara, she could tell he felt tense and frustrated at not being able to know exactly what was going on. He was a man who liked control and even more playing people.. she could tell..

"The stewardess was flirting" Sara stated.. with a roll of her eyes.. not that the woman was showing any thing approaching bad taste, Sands was looking very good, better than good. Its just, he was totally unaware when anyone was watching him, whether they had good or bad intent. No that information, was her job to provide. She wondered if the job description involved passing on flirting .. she decided off her own back, it wasn't.. Sands tilted his head..

"She still around?" he said with a slight smile

"No I scared her off" Sara countered

"Not getting possessive are we, Honeybun?" he said half teasingly, he leaned closer to her, so she could feel his breath on her cheek "Cos you never know.. there might be enough of me to go around" he quipped

"I thought you were swearing off woman for a while" Sara countered

"What gave you that idea?" Sands said, with a hint of defensiveness.

"Oh a few things.. like things you mumbled when you came in, I mean its got to have a very real sting when your girlfriend wants you blinded.. " she said.. Sands had been fairly relaxed, but Sara could feel his body tense next to hers

"I wouldn't worry about Ajedrez, she is no longer a problem" he said, in a steely voice.. "I dealt with her" he stated coldly

"I read your file.. a shooting right?..killing her..Is that how you deal with your problems?" Sara asked. Sands shrugged

"Well if you mean Brunettes that blind me?.. sure.. why not" he said in a very casual voice, she had heard people sound more irrate at their car being blocked in when parked. 'Sound' was the operative word, it was phrased that way, because it amused him, she was sure of that. He gave the most casual glib response to the most serious of acts, killing a person. It was all about effect.. smoke and mirros, not lettign anyone see what was really going on. She was sure there was a lot more rage in Sands somewhere. She didn't really think she wanted to be around when it hit the surface.

However she also watched for every sign of it. She held his arm as they walked through the airport, together. A casual observer might think they were just a close coupe, staying romantically close. The truth was, he had insisted on walking around the hospital with her before being discharged to carry out this mission. He had got in tune with her, how she walked, reading that.. she glanced over as he got out his mobile phone.. he flipped it open. "Juan. my man.. Yes I am back in Mexico.. and you know you owe me" until then, Sands voice had been light and friendly, now there was a slightly ominous tone. "All those plans of mine, my dear friends all ready for that big dance number.. and you leave them without guns, I never leave a job half done Juan.. it makes me look bad.. if I look bad.. I am going to leave you looking even worse" Sands threatened conversationally. Sara was watching him intently by now... not hearing the other half of the conversation, only Sands part in it.. but it was easy to guess what had been said .. Sands paused "you heard that?" he said. "You have to remember my friend, these stories get embelished along the way.. I have eyeballs in my head.. " he stated.. technically true.. Sara had to admit, they were artificial ones, and he was blind, but Sands was creating an impression of truth.. he then sighed "Now by way of compensation for before.. I expect goods to at least match the value of the guns I paid handsomely for, to be forthcoming.. I will be in touch to tell you what I need and where you are to deliver said goods. "Sands said in business like tones, "Do not make the mistake of making me come find you.. that is not the way to get popular.. . and you most definitely will not like that" Sands said with a slightly cruel smile.. "Later" he said by way of a parting comment and shut the phone.. Sands tilted his head in Sara's direction.. "Lets go get a cab, go see the sights.. .. and maybe settle a few scores.. '' he smiled slightly in her direction. .


	7. Chapter 7 incognito

**disclaimer. I do not own Sands.. and sadly I can't even rent him by the hour... I only own my OC and my own smutty ideas of what to do with him LOL **

**thanks for the reviews, they are much appreciated. More sent hopefully soon enough, and I hope still interesting , quick29. All reviews greatfully received. **

Sara paused as they stepped out of the airport into the golden Mexican sunshine. "What?.. What is it?" Sands said at her suddenly stopping, he tensed trying to sense what might be about to go down.

Sara looked over at him, and his slightly tense expression, she let out a slight nervous laugh "No.. nothing bad.. I've never been to Mexico before.. its.. its beautiful.. even the light seems different... " she said.. she swiftly bit her lip.. she probably sounded the niave senselessly impressed tourist, she certainly did not want to create an atmosphere around her and Sands that stressed her lack of expreience and his own expertise. Luckily Sands seemed not to leap on this opening to torment her with such a take on her words, for once. Instead he seemed to look distant and he sighed slightly

"Yeah.. it does. did... I liked it being my beat.. " he said quietly.. as if to himself.. he turned to 'look' towards her. "Nice as the view is, maybe we should get to whatever hotel you got us booked in, under.. what names again?"

Sara sighed, she knew he completely remembered, he asked purely because he was not done tormenting her on it. "Mr and Mrs Smith, and if you don't sodding drop it soon, I swear I am gonna start questioning again why we have to pose as a couple at all.. " she muttered

Sands chuckled "you know perfectly well why, you need to see what makes me tick, keeps me going against the odds, and I need outside help to 'see'. This way we both get our needs met." Sands said with an overly confident tone.

"Oh, right thats the reason" Sara said wryly. "Not that you just like manipulating people into doing what you want, rather than what they want." she said stubbornly

"No, its more that I am used to reading what people really mean, rather than what they say, it is often different, and I know that really you want to stay in my room, up close and personal" he said with a slightly playful smile

Sara let out a pained sigh "your having too much fun with this, really far too much, you evil sod" she said wearily "And if I didn't have to watch you as close as a rat in a maze, a metaphor I use for a very good reason, I would tell you where you could stuff your same room idea" she said pointedly

"But you wont, will you" He stated more than asked "And not only cos you have to watch what I am going to do, admit it, " he said challengingly "you want to." he tilted his head towards her as they walked, and his lips tugged into a smile. He was playing with her..her skin positively tingled as she looked into his face, and his breath warmed her skin. His games were the dangerous kind; fatal.. she knew that was something to keep very much at the forefront of her mind, despite how he could easily make it seem to fade against other ideas, other games.

"We're at the taxi" she mumbled.. fumbling for the door handle.. opening it.. getting in after him...rather wanting to change the subject..She could tell he knew he had knocked her confidence easily off balence.. she hated feeding his idea of fun, by him knowing that, and she could sense he knew it,. she just damn well hoped the hotel had got her booking right and it was two twin beds, and not any other kind of double room, she didn't want to even begin to imagine the different level of fun he would get out of that situation.. that somehow over-rode how potentially lethal other aspects of this mission were... She half wondered why that was for a moment, as she studied his face. She took in how, despite being sightless, he seemed confident and at ease she supposed this was because he expected that those he demanded help from would comply. There was something else. Something, undefinable.. she tutted, but that was her job; to define it. .. she frowned.. he wasn't going to make that easy.. usually she liked a challenge..

Sands leaned back in his seat, he knew he had been pressing her buttons and annoying her. but he was also fully aware she would stay and see this mission through anyway. But she was more interesting than that made her sound. He wanted to work out why he had trusted her voice, before. Why so soon , after a mission filled with so many betrayals and double crosses he was so tempted to trust her. He didn't like not knowing exactly why she was playing along. That meant there was an element of power in her hands still. A factor he didn't understand totally, he meant to get there though, whatever it took. Oh.. yeah.. that and kill the president too.. " he reminded himself. He really had to stop thinking of her too much. she was just here to be a guide, when he needed it, while he found his balance again. Its not like she could be the balance.. quite the opposite.. he had to make sure he didn't make the mistake of relaxing with anyone, of letting his guard down. When you did that , you didn't see it coming.. then you never saw again. so what if he felt drawn to trust her.. that meant nothing, he manipulated people all the time, with all sorts, fear, pain, trust, they were all the same.. Lies for fools. You used anything you could as part of the game, his game, and he really needed to stop farting around, because this was getting serious. They were already into injury time


	8. Chapter 8 just because your paranoid

**disclaimer. I don't own Sands, just my OC. **

**Thanks to everyone who have reviewed,it most appreciated. All reviews welcome, to know if this is working. **

Sands tilted his head in Sara's direction as the Cab stopped. "Are we there yet?" he said softly, there was a trace of irritation in his voice, at having to ask for the most basic information, but he was bottling it up well. ..well good for him.. he was reminded of the wry saying 'good for you; bloody awful for anyone else, but good for you'.. he couldn't help but feel it was threatening to fit him.. but he was entitled to feel frustrated.. but then again he hated being predictable.. so he hoped he was hiding it, better than he felt he was..

"Yes we're here" Sara said.. she half sighed as Sands remained in an apparentely relaxed stance, leaning back in his seat.. and by it, made her have to lean forward and pay the taxi driver, it was no big deal, the agency was after all funding this little trip. There was company business to finish, a revolution to set in motion, seems Sands was expert at tipping whole countries over the edge. After a few hours in his company, she could quite believe it.

She got out of the cab, and waited for him to get out. He slipped from the cab in a fluid movement that seemed to deny his blindness, but he slipped his arm in to be interlocked with hers, so she could guide him to the hotel. She looked around, the place had an aged glamour, beautiful, but it seemed bad taste to comment on it, in the circumstances, so she simply lead an uncharacteristically silent Sands to the desk at recepion. "We have a booking, Mr and Mrs Smith" she said with a quick friendly smile

"Yes Mrs Smith , your room is ready, number 312" the girl said politely, handing Sara the key. "Its on the third floor the lifts are down the hall on the left" she said with a smile

"Thank you" Sara said..

"The porter can bring your bags" the receptionist added

"No need.. we're fine" Sands cut in, neither had much luggage, all Sands seemed to possess was an over night case, and Sara had managed to fit everything in one larger bag..about twice the size of Sands. Sands had told her at the hospital that one of the first rules was to let no one carry their luggage for them, it invited too many bad scenarios.. tracking devices, theft, laziness.. he also made clear if she couldn't keep her items down to one bag.. it was tough.. cos one bag was all they were taking each, and to forget even contemplating that he might gallantly carry her bag for her.. 'think of it as a learning curve, you will appreciate for next time' he had stated.. True to his word, Sands left her to carry her own, it had hardly needed saying. Even if he wasn't one of the walking wounded he was not to type to ever make such an offer. Already her arm was aching, and she cursed herself for thinking far too many things counted as a neccesity. However she kept staunchly silent about it, she was pretty independent and more to the point, she was not going to give Sands any chance for an extended 'I told you so'

The room was large, very large for a hotel room and there was a jaded luxury to the place, as if to suggest if they had come a decade or so sooner the place might be in its prime. The room lacked the more obvious luxuries, like television sets, but there was an en-suite bathroom and a couple of arm chairs and a settee around a coffee table, Sara listed these to Sands as she looked at them. Then silence claimed her as something else took Sara'a attention, it was a metal framed bed.. it was not the attractive old fashioned metal frame.. or the colourful handmade quilt.. it was that it existed in the singular. A bed, a large bed she had to admit. But that hardly made up for the fact it was the lone bed in the room.. she let out a hiss of frustration. Sands tilted his head in her direction. "What is it?" he said, letting the constantly growing irritation at asking to show.

"Nothing" She snapped "Just the place is not quite what I was expecting" she said in a softer tone. It was not as if he had phoned the hotel and changed the reservation she had made, it was just a mix up. She then looked suspiciously at him, it was probably the kind of thing he would find amusing, she could just hear him 'you can't go changing it you'll make it look like we are not Mr and Mrs Smith at all, and your not wanting to raise suspicions. After all its no problem, you can sleep on the settee" She sighed and puhed the thoughts away "Its just they have screwed up the reservations and given us a double, and not two twin beds" she sighed and headed towards the door, "Its soon fixed" she stated

Sands sighed ''Look you can't rush off doing that, getting irrate and insulted and changing it you'll make it look like we are not Mr and Mrs Smith at all, and you worked SO hard at that cover" he mocked "I mean your not wanting to raise suspicions. I mean you can always sleep on the settee" he said casually, shooting a smile over at her "If the bed is SO offensive to you" he smirked

Sara frowned and bit her tongue, no she wouldn't snap or use exessive expletives back. And it was also better not to go thinking he really had planned this, that was feeding some random paranoid thought a little too much


	9. Chapter 9 poison

**Disclaimer I don't own Sands I just like playing with him.. to help with playing along with Sands twisted littel games.. I do however own my OC**

**all reviews welcome thanks for the great responses I've got so far they are most appreciated, especially over what has been a slow build towards any kind of action lol**

It was significantly harder to throw shapes when you couldn't see what the hell you had hit. Not to mention the pleasure of watching them fall was seriously diminished when you couldn't watch the action. It fed Sand's frustration and there was too Damn much of that as it was already, and it meant he craved a more vicious kind of revenge, one he could hear, screams featured a lot in his imagination; other peoples screams to cover his own, the ones that echoed inside his head in the early hours, and burst through his sleep. He was beginning to hate falling asleep and resisted it as long as possible. He didn't so much 'fall asleep' these days as he had to be dragged kicking and screaming into its clutches. Of course at the point of his actually falling asleep this 'kicking and screaming ' was just an expression. The reason he hated the weakness of sleep, was because it did not stay that way for long, or he feared it didn't.

He tried to distract himself from the fact that at some point the long night, that was all there was, that and his lone thoughts. There had been a few small distractionsthrugh the day. It had been mildly amusing having Sara attempting to play the part of reasonably affectionate wife at the hotel restaurant, all the while while she was more than obviously annoyed, over his stance over the bed situation. She could hardly argue with his point that the settee was her's, as he had taken great pleasure in stating, she wasn't barely out of hospital, and before the doctors really said he should be, and the more significant point she was the one with a problem with it.

Not nearly enough to occupy the early hours, the hotel had fallen silent many hours ago, and he found himself listening to Sara's soft calm breathing over on the other side of the room, for lack of anything else to do. He even regretted claiming the bed, despite the way he had been able to goad Sara over her having to have the settee, it would have been more uncomfortable, and just now, that was what he needed; some hook to hang his desperate attempt to stay awake on. He felt a deep tiredness pulling at him, he resisted it for as long as he was physically able, before it dragged him down into the depths of the dreams... the nightmares.

_his lover of old was not dead here.. here he had exacted no revenge.. she mocked him. taunted him, a never quiet voice that bit with as deep a sting as Guevera's drill. _

_he didn't see it coming... _

_Yet he had seen too much... just not enough to save his skin.._

_To save his eyes..._

_His lover smiled as the torture began, the drill moved closer to his face, it felt like it was tearing his whole body up in the acid burn of its agony. _

_In the darkness all that existed was the pain... A world of pain_

_that and the fact they were silently laughing at him... _

_thinking him a fool_

_Thinking he had lost.. _

_... lost in the bitter darkness.. _

"No!" he heard as he found himself sitting up in bed, he must have shouted it, at least he thought he had said some word, instead of just some mindless scream, it might be that it was merely his mind that had begged 'no'

Begged for this reality to be the dream that he could wake from, and not into.

He flinched, she was beside him. He frowned at conformation he was right , that he must be letting the nightmares show in his unguarded sleep. That is why he hated sleep so much. "You couldn't resist climbing into my bed?" he said, wanting to cover the cold sweat of fear, with a glib comment. He hated his weakness, and he wanted no one to pander to it, he wanted to kill it down here in Mexico

"You know your a complete arsehole Sands" she stated

"Yeah.. so your the type of girl who climbs into bed with complete arseholes " he countered, it felt more a playground taunt than his usual dry vicious razor-edged comeback, but he was still shaking slightly from the nightmare, so he forgave himself for that. So apparently did she. She gave it the same weary sigh as she gave his worst barbs.

"Don't you ever let anyone in?" she asked

'_Always the doctor, trying to climb into my head as well as my bed'_ he thought dryly "You climbed in all by your pretty self Doc" he selected instead. Anything else might have shown some fear of not being alone. It was only now he realized she was gently stroking his arm. He could only assume she had been doing so all along, his recent attitude was hardly likely to elicit this response. It felt strangely threatening, in its tender aim at comfort, he tilted his face in her direction. for some reason part of him wanted to hear that comforting tone in her voice, and it surprised him. A surprise he attempted to cover. "Are you making a pass at me Honeybun?" he said with a glib humorous tone in his voice

"Tell me when you stop being an arsehole and I'll let you know" she countered dryly, "You know I have to ask you about those dreams, at some point" she said softly, as soft as an apology

"I never remember them" he lied. He was relieved she didn't punish him for this lie by stopping holding him, already the trembling was passing, it usually lasted much longer.. with nothing but the nights silence there to distract him. He welcomed the distraction of her, where he could focus on the warmth of her body touching his, the scent of her and that quality in her voice. He was already building mental barriers to all this, they were just slow at getting going at this time of night, thats what he told himself

"You know its not hard to guess what they are about" she countered, gently

"The there isn't much point in asking me about them then, is there?" he said defensively.

"No, but there is a procedure, you know how to follow procedure, don't you Sands?"

"Yeah just put your lips together, and kiss the CIA's butt" he muttered

"Well some do, not you though, right Sands?" she said in a bemused tone.

"No..Not me" he confirmed

"Must be why they think so highly of you" she sounded like she was smiling

"Highly enough to send you down to me?" Sands countered

"Oh.. nice one, you are feeling better", she seemed to be smiling again

"Must be" he said, he hardly sounded convinced

"Sands?" she said, that tone was there, he should have tensed instantly at it, but somehow he didn't quite.

"What?" he said tilting his face in her direction, becoming aware she was very close, close enough to feel her breath against his skin

"I don't know how you can come back here, after everything" she said softly. That voice seeped into him,.

Some poisons could seep through the skin Sands remembered reading.. you didn't even have to consent to drink them, to be part of the play that brought you down. On the theme of poisons, not his favourite tool, too passive aggressive.. but he knew them. Literary poisons too, the random , or maybe not so random though came to him, that Hamlets father had been killed by poison dropped into his ear while he slept. He decided Sara's voice was like all of these. It lulled him, against his will, seeping into parts of him that he didn't even know had existed, or had stayed alive in him after all these years, it was disconcerting. There is something rotten at the heart of Denmark...

He didn't want to think of why he was really doing this, but he replied to Sara anyway "Survival instinct" he said with a shrug, for all he knew it was the exact opposite. he after all had been handed a poisoned barb, and survived, what could you describe walking back and grasping the same barb more firmly, as, nothing other than to ensure that this time a fatal dose was given. There had been many sleepless nights, and he was still divided between the two theories swirling through his mind.

"Is that it?" Sanra said, there was no judgemnt or trace of anything in her tone, no disbelief, or accustation. Certainly no cynical jibe. She wan't like him then, somehow what he did hear, and hardly recognised it when he finally did hear that sound, was acceptance.

"I don't know" that slipped out before he even knew he was speaking, it was too honest to sound like it really came from him.

Sara smiled, even blind he knew she was too, and she gently stroked his cheek "Well I guess we will find out together as we go along then" she said.

Sands leant into her touch, _together_ he hadn't used that word applied to him in a long time, and one he trusted as much as he had trusted the good intentions of Guevera's drill. He nodded warily, unfortunately he was in no position to tell everyone else to go to hell.. or stay safely the other side of a cell phone, he needed her to help him. Trouble was she seemed intent on guiding him through more than the streets of Mexico, but through all his barriers, that kept the world at bay so long.

His twisted pyche was not just waving red flags, but sending up distress flares. No one was meant to get inside and see the inner workings of his mind.. that would be a very bad career move.. it would mean them moving his office straight to a nice softly padded room, with its own little uniform of nice jackets where the sleeves tied at the back. No he was not letting her in. An idea flashed, through his mind. keep her off balance, insulted. It was how he kept people away.. cross the boundary, make being around him an increasingly uncomfortable experience. Cross the line.. He thought That might work. He smiled that dry little twisted smile of his, and said "I guess we will. " as he leaned closer and took a kiss.. some kisses were given, some shared, none like that would serve his purpose, he needed to take from her, for her to step back, this would do it, he was sure. It wasn't like he was going for subtle, or holding back

He wrapped his arms tighly around her so she coldn't pull away, as soon as she wanted too. It took a moment or two for his mind to quite register that she wasn't trying to.


	10. Chapter 10 delayed reaction

**Disclaimer I do not own Sands.. just my own character and ideas what to do with him **

**all reviews very welcome.. in other please review :)**

Sands paused.. this was not how this was meant to go. She was meant to be slapping him across the face and storming back to the settee..

... Lets make this crystal clear.. it was not the slap Sands craved.. no he had wide tastes and interests, but he was not quite that way inclined. But he had been seeking an escape, and she was not supplying it. He paused .

Sara kept very, very still. He had to listen intensely to even hear her breathing "you quite done?" she eventually asked.

_ok this was definitely not going to plan_

he nodded slightly, immediately regretting it, as he could feel her face still close to his, he could almost feel the warmth of her lips, and he could definitely still taste them, she tasted good. he pushed the thought away

"That was.. pardon the pun.. or perhaps don't, really below the belt Sands" she said. He couldn't quite identify the tone in her voice. But then he supposed he wasn't meant to . "I haven't quite made up my mind which distraction from my questioning you were going for; me responding, or slapping you. Either way, luckily for you, I am trained to resist both." she said. There was definitely a warning tone in her voice "You must really want to avoid talking about those dreams" she added wryly

"Sorry.. " he murmured

He felt her react to that. "An apology?" she said incredulously "From you Agent Sands?" He wondered if she was smiling, it almost sounded like she was, but he didn't trust himself to quite believe it.

"It happens.. occasionally" he replied.. Christ he could seriously do with a cigarette just now.

Sara looked intently at him... he looked, if she didn't know better, and here she reminded herself, she didn't actually know better, he looked lost. She steeled herself not to feel pity for him, he had after all crossed the line, with that all too expert kiss. she half wondered what was offending her more.. how expert he was at kissing or that he had used a kiss to distract her. It was no contest really, but it bothered her slightly that the question even came to her.

"Just don't try it again" she bit her lip and decided it was definitely not wise to add the teasing '_unless you mean it'_ that popped into her mind. He would definitely take it the wrong way. She collected her self and she tried not to even think about how his kiss had felt.

"The apology or the kiss?" Sands quipped

Sara gave a slight laugh.. Sands thought he heard a nervous tone to it "Behave" she replied.. some Machiavellian part of Sands brain filed away that she avoided answering that one. He was not prone to ego where women were concerned.. unlike the Bond films liked to imply, most agents were not lady-killers.. well not in that way.. the life didn't promote meaningful relationships, and as he had the ample proof off, not that any agents doubted it, the type of women who liked the agent life style in their men, were often the last to be trusted. It made for a solitary time. As he thought this he became very conscious of the fact she was still sitting very close next to him, her hand on his arm.

"Behaving isn't quite my style, but I will try" he added.. he was feeling uncharacteristically bad for what he had done. He quickly supplied an almost convincing reason, he needed her help in this mission, he was more dependant than ever on others. He also reluctantly admited to himself that her soft words on first gettign to the hospital had meant a lot to him, and he had repayed them badly, lost a sense of balance.

And he needed balance. Now almost more than ever

"Don't beat you4rself up over it" she said softly as she read his expression. "It was only a kiss" she said dismissively. She almost even managed to convince herself of it.


	11. Chapter 11 Always darkest before the da

Always darkest before the dawn

Sadly I do not own Sands, nor do I have him chained up safely in my cellar… mores the pity.

**(chpt 10 **"Don't beat yourself up over it" she said softly as she read his expression. "It was only a kiss" she said dismissively. She almost even managed to convince herself of it.

"No you were meant to beat me up over it" Sands quipped.. Sara sighed, though not a totally exasperated one, Sands knew the difference, he had heard totally exasperated often enough to tell

"So you confess your less than cunning plan.. I am sure I never read a chapter on that strategy of defeating your enemy in Sun Tzu's 'The Art of War' " she said

"You assume I have read it , so you let me know you have, or imply it, to impress?" Sands said with a smile "And I guess I am meant here to say you are not the enemy… but then that assumes I am sure your not" he said

"It must get busy in there; all those circular thoughts and arguments" Sara countered

as she touched his temple " I am not the enemy .. yet. Though I am sure you are confident you can turn me into one if you tried, but what advantage would that really give you?" she asked

"Well if that was a serious question, I might give you a serious answer" Sands countered

"Might?" Sara jumped on the word

"You think anything is certain with me" he said with an almost self satisfied smirk, that was pitched at that level to irritate

"I'd say not seeing was" Sara snapped, immediately wishing she could bite back how vicious those words sounded when spoken. Whatever reaction she was expecting it was not the satisfied smile that slowly crossed his lips, she wondered just how insanely twisted this man truly was

"More than you'll ever know" he replied, as if reading her thoughts, "But you lil Missy were dangling some mythical carrot of just the slightest hope I might see in some sense again, so which lie do you want me to bite?" he said coldly. It was a level of cold she had never encountered and she shivered in response

"They tell me there is hope of some form of sight, but.. " her voice faded.

"Isn't there always a but… life's a bitch, that way.. but you do nothing if not attempt to take the sting out of them, sugar coat those buts, guess that's what your sort do" he said "Sugarbut" he added purely for his own amusement; Sugarbutt had set him up for being blinded Sugarbut laid the sweet bait he might just see again; if he played nice. But then again he was Sheldon Jeffrey Sands, how nice could the likes of him ever play. Especially when he was mentally kicking himself for letting himself believe her soft sugar-coated words when he first arrived in hospital and she whispered comforts to him. That someone had to pay for

"Sands" she said exasperatedly "you think your going to get away with changing the subject like that, very well done though" she said

"What subject was that Sugar.. but?" he teased

"Those dreams, the blinding" she said

"Ok.. you wanna play so bad?" he said with noticeable venom "You want in here?" he taped his temple "Well be sure what you wish for Sugar.. you better fasten your seatbelts its gonna be a bumpy night" he said

"Ride"

"What?"

"The quote.. it's from All about Eve.. it's 'its going to be a bumpy ride"

"No its not' popular misconception, she says night, and Bogart never said 'Play it again Sam, and Hamlet never said "Alas poor Warwick I knew him well' They are all misquotes, in my line of work it takes someone who knows the difference between what people think they know and the truth" he pointed out

She sighed "I am not going to argue with you on Movie quotes" she snapped

"Movie and play quotes.. Shakespeare was a tad before the invention of Cinema" he said smugly

"You know suddenly the torture seems less inexplicable, you love to push people to their limits… even friends" she replied in irritated tones

"You think you're a friend?" he said swiftly said, ignoring the torture reference

"I am not an enemy" she pointed out

"That we are yet to see" he said with a kind of relish, well if he was damned uncomfortable about the blinding, if anyone was going to disprove the lie that a trouble shared was a trouble halved, he was here and now.

"So are you going to tell me? You know, about the dreams?" she asked with a tone of strained patience

"Depends what you ask" he said

"Do you remember the blinding?" she asked

"In the dream.. or in general?" he asked, say you're a pedant you have to play out the role of pedant

"Both" she muttered

"Well that's clearer, so clear even a blind man can see it" he chuckled to himself. "And in answer 'Both'" he said

"You remember it?" she let slip.

"I just said so , didn't I .. or is there something wrong with your ears?" he asked

"No, nothing wrong with them, its just the doctors said, you wouldn't"

"You know Sugarplum I have learned to be a mite mistrustful of Doctors these days" he pointed out "you might do well to do the same" he added

"I am a doctor" she said tersely

"Oh yeah.. so you are" he said with a curl of a smile across his lips, displaying the lie his tone of voice told, that he had just forgotten this little fact

"You know, you are impossible Agent Sands" she stated

"No.. just improbable, if I were impossible I wouldn't be here for you to be sitting on the same bed as"

"You know that's not how I meant it" she said. She tilted her head and looked at him carefully. Could his mood be this tense because she was sat on the bed with him, stroking his arm still, had he changed from lost to aggressive in tone, to deflect her offer of comfort and its dangers, she wondered.

"You psychoanalysing me there a mite Sugarkins?" he said, in response to the silence

"Yes, its my job, and I swear they are not paying me enough" she replied "how much detail do you remember?" she more tentatively asked

"Oh.. I remember Ajedrez… the needle in the neck, then waking up to Dr Guevara's tender care, his drill, its bite, the blood and darkness, how much detail are you wanting?" he said with an abnormal calm.

"What did you do next?" she asked

"Extract revenge" he said calmly

"Is that what kept you going that day?" she said

"No.. I don't think it was" he said rolling a cigarette and lighting it "It was… more not knowing how to lie down and die, to just give up.. its just not in me Sugarplum" he said.. he tilted his head in his direction "Is that what your bosses are wanting to hear?" he said

"I guess it is" she said. Looking over at him as he exhaled blue grey smoke

"well I guess you got what you wanted" he said, his tone business like, as if all the talk before was an act he did to get an end result he wanted, and for all she knew it was. But that was not all that had happened, her gut told her that

"No, not yet. I will let you know when I do" she replied

"Oh I can hardly wait.. baited breath and all that" he said with a deceptively soft seductive tone, on anyone else it would seem innocently pleasant, on him it seemed a threat that sent shivers down her spine

Sands felt for the ashtray by his bed, and lay down "Fun as this all this is.. I got things to do in the morning, so if you can restrain yourself a moment , Doll, from keeping me up all night" he teased.. he smiled to himself as he heard another frustrated sigh, he wondered if he, just for his own personal amusement set himself a challenge of sigh quota's for each day, Christ knows he could do little else, he might have not had it in him to lay down and die the day of the dead, but how could he do his thing blind, he was not going to ever have the life he wanted ever again.. and for that someone had to pay, and he didn't quite mind if the ultimate price was paid by him.


	12. Chapter 12 Calling Card

**Chapter 12 Calling cards**

Morning came, as morning inevitably does. Sara noticed if anything Sands was more tense and irritable than before, she wished she could read him, usually she read people better than this, this man was infuriating. He seemed to relish giving nothing away, she has no doubt it was the nature of his work to play things close to his chest as second nature, but this relish she half suspected was because it was her job to figure just that sort of stuff out. 

He had barely spoken half a dozen words to her since the night before, and she was beginning to wonder what benefit coming here was, she certainly was not learning a thing about him, in fact she felt she actually knew less about him than before.

Other than he didn't believe in wasting time, least of all on her and her own little project. He was talking to the clerk at the reception desk, she watched him, he was not into small talk and this conversation was getting more not less involved, he passed a small bundle of notes to the man and turned, he tilted his head as if attempting to locate her, he paused and walked towards her, she had sat a few seats down from him after he started talking to the clerk

"How do you do that?" she asked, over him locating her

"What walk… just place one foot in front of the other, the rest seems to take care of itself" he quipped

"No.. you know what I mean, find me like that?" she asked

"Obsession'' he said, cryptically

"Is that your way of trying to say you like me?" Sara mocked back, ok she wasn't dumb she had already worked out to work with Sands you had to at least make some attempt to give as good as you got

"The perfume you wear, you're the only one in here with it on.. hardly rocket science" he said 

"More its elementary my dear Watson" Sara quipped back

"not unlike it" Sands conceded "That Watson, the poor dolt that needed help was also a Doctor right, so many coincidences.. Did I ever say I don't remotely believe in coincidence" he said

"No, but it doesn't surprise me, and Dr Watson was not written as a dolt, just wrongly played that way in all the films" Sara said, seeing as he had taken some pleasure in that misquote thing in the early hours. 

"Well maybe people naturally like Doctors to be dolts" Sands quipped, but with a dangerously cold undercurrent to his tone. Sara seriously hoped that was aimed at a particular Doctor; Guevara, rather than all doctors 

"Some do underestimate them" Sara said, trying to sound as if she were really holding her nerve here "So what was so interesting, over there, with the clerk?" she said, rather wishing to change the subject as well as knowing what was going down

"Oh that, Sugar-but sure, seems someone is asking about me, paying for the info, for if I turn up again down Mexico way. Now isn't that sweet" he said with sub-zero tones

"That doesn't sound good" Sara said, with a feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach

"Give the girl a prize" Sands drawled, "and seems they are not too careful at not being found out about asking either; left a business card and everything" he said twirling the card in his hand "Now isn't that SO convenient" he said

"You don't trust it, its too easy?" Sara stated

"Did they hire you to just state the bleedin' obvious?" Sands said with a tone of much strained patience "Of course I don't trust it, I don't trust anything, and no that's not paranoia, its experience babe" he said more wearily, "They are either real dumb at this game.. or they want to be found" he said.. He handed the card to Sara 

"It is a business card, a lawyer , there is a number and address " Sara said

"So all the usual business card stuff, peachy. " he said dryly "There a name in there, just so I know who we are about to go drop in on?" he said

"It's a Jaque Mate" Sara replied

Sands looked over at her "Your shitting me?" he said "Well this should be… educational, to say the least, the very least" he said, running his hand over where his gun was holstered. An action Sara didn't miss 

"What does that mean?" she said hurrying to catch up as he headed for the front door and the taxi rank outside 

"Really, I can handle it from here" Sands said

"You have to be kidding" Sara argued, making sure she got in the taxi before it sped away "What's going on?" she said "You know this Jaque?" she asked

"Not so far as I know, but you know it might get a little bit dangerous Sugarbut, can you dig it?" he asked, more rhetorically

"Dig it or not, I will be there" Sara said determinedly, a comment that earned her a slightly less then thrilled 'look' from Sands.. she had at least learned enough about him to actually expect that one


	13. Chapter 13 Flying Pigs

**Chapter 13 flying pigs. **

Sand's isn't mine, only the O.C.'s, adding a new one to help muddy the waters, hopefully add to the fun.

**Reviews welcome**

"We're here" the taxi driver said again, looking back with a slight tone of frustration, it had been several minutes and Sands was trying to get Sara to be somewhat effective eyes.

"I know" he snapped at the driver "A moment , amigo" he said, in tellingly unfriendly tones "So tell me Doc where, here is again?" he said more irritably, as if asking again might improve the answer

"I told you" Sara snapped right back "There is no lawyers office on this street, there is in fact nothing, well almost nothing" she said

"And like I asked , what's 'almost'? " Sands said with a dangerously cold edge, that said he was seriously losing his patience "I swear where is a kid selling bubblegum when you need it" he muttered

"You want bubblegum?" Sara said incredulously

"No.. no a drink or five, I swear" he muttered even more irritably "Pay the man as lets take a look around" Sands said.

"Are you sure, I mean on the way over you were saying to expect them to know your coming, what was it you said, what can be bought so easily can be bought back?" she said of Sands comment on the loyalty of the little rat clerk

"I do know what I said" Sands stated, "Ring the number, again" he said.. Sara obliged and again ran the contact number on the business card

"Its still going to an anonymous voice mail, no message again?" she asked, Sands didn't even bother answering, he nodded.

"So, tell me, again'' he said "What's the view" he said after they got out and after Sara paid the taxi and it sped off, she figured she was better off not knowing the obvious expletives in Spanish, after waiting him wait so long.

"It's a dump of a side street, nothing but a bar that sells food, a few locals, looks like no one else would eat there, not a tourist trap around here" she said

"So this place, just for my own edification what is it called?" Sands said, wondering why he had to ask for every detail, it was like pulling teeth, and Christ he would resort to that too soon enough if it would speed this up"

As if sensing this Sara decided to be a mite more detailed in what she supplied, that was after all, the only real use Sands appeared to have for her, and she had to be useful to get anything back. "The place looks ancient, really falling down stuff, but there is a sign in the window, saying 'bajo nueva gerencia'

"Does it look like this new management has done a whole lot to the place?" he asked

"No, its still a dump, well" she tried to figure out how he would look at this place if he could "Well… maybe that's a new sign, the name of the place, it looks slightly newer than the rest of the décor" though décor and that place did not seem to naturally suit being in the same sentence

"Ok Doc, what is it now called, just for.."

"Your own edification?" she asked, rhetorically "Its called 'El cerdo del Vuelo' " she said, concentrating on trying to pronounce it right, she was no Spanish speaker rather than looking at him

Sands froze "You sure of that Honey?" he said in a tone that had her giving him her undivided attention

"Yes, Well I might have pronounced it wrong but.. yeah" she even spelled it out to him, to ensure no mistake

"The special of the day wouldn't happen to be posted up for all to see from the street would it.. wouldn't happen to be peurto pilbil would it?"

"It would" Sara said uneasily "looks like it always is" she said

"Well Gee it ain't rocket science Doc, ultra elementary, too much so, smells like a set up'' he muttered this more to himself

"Smells more like good pork" she quipped back

Sands winced "you just had to go and say that out loud" he said

"I don't get it, what is going on?" she asked "A card for a place that doesn't exist, this dump does instead, someone wanting us to just waste time getting lost?" she asked

"No, someone telling me to go in there" he said

"How ?" she said

"All of it .. its not been subtle all that Jaque Mate.. it means checkmate in Spanish, the name of this place, the flying pig.. subtle, even if you didn't know where Ajedrez, which means chess in Spanish, met me, lay that whole 'didn't see it coming ' line on me before.. " he paused, he was sure Sara got it, the hitch he heard in her breathing told him she had just about caught right up "But she is dead, I mean I am sure she was, and this, well it is enough for even a blind man to see it coming" he said.

Even thought she was not touching him, he could feel her tense, a nervous, or maybe scared and trying to hide it, voice said

"So what do we do now?" she asked

"Guess we go see if that Puerto pilbil is worth shooting the cook over" Sands said with a casual smirk


	14. Chapter 14 A Family Business

**Chapter 14 A family Business.**

Sands knew he was working blind, on so many damn levels, Sara was not being a whole lot of help , all he was getting was her nervousness. A Waitress came over "¿Es usted listo ordenar, los extranjeros?" she said

"Ready" Sands said.. he seemed to he trying to sense everyone in the room "pilbil del puerto dos con gracias del tequila y de la cal" Sands said.. doubling his usual order, hell if Sara wasn't wanting some tequila and lime, he'd happily oblige.

"And that is?" Sara said, a tad more irritably than she meant, but Hell Sands didn't have the monopoly on bad moods, and she felt rather in the dark here, and rather scared of what to expect, I mean she had at least seen first hand what the people Sands mixed with did. What was it Sands murmured in those nightmares of his, about only seeing too much, well seeing the affects of Sands activities, was rather too much.

"Two specials, and some tequila, when in Rome.. and all that'' he shot her a slight short lived 'working' smile and placed a brown roll up between his lips "So Doc, do tell, anyone looking at us, or trying not to look as if they are looking, and do describe anyone arriving, I kinda doubt who ever set the set up, up , so to speak, stays here all the live long day" he shot her another tight un-amused smile. Sara nodded, and then as she mentally kicked herself for being so dumb she mumbled

"Sure.. yeah, no problem" She said looking around as he lit up, she didn't much like cigarette smoke, but she guessed just now she was going to have to concentrate on something else

"You can tell me anytime, as long as its now" he said in that amused tone, though it was not a joke he was sharing. Sara tensed more, this time with anger, she did not like being anyone's idea of a joke

"There is a man about eighty by the look of him eating , and a barman behind the bar, the waitress you met, that's it" she shrugged.

"For now" Sands said turning his head to the door, she then heard it too, footsteps

"Yeah, someone's come in"

"Some one, that doesn't give me anything else I hadn't got, heels so a woman, any blanks you willing to fill in there sugar-but?" he said to Sara, the footsteps stopped suddenly .

"She's blonde.. headscarf, sunglasses" Sara began hurriedly, and quietly as the woman was standing fairly close

"Its ok I got it from here" Sands said "So Jaque, at least that's what your going by, Blonde?.. really?" he said with a smirk

"No not really blonde" the woman said sitting at the table giving Sara a hostile stare

"So this thing is why you almost slipped under the radar, was expecting you to come back alone" she said "not as some Mr and Mrs Smith"

"Tell me why I shouldn't.. " Sands began

"Cos whatever your thinking is not it, I was hoping my brand of cryptic would have you curious enough not to put a bullet in me .."

"As soon as see you?" Sands cut in this time

"I am not her" she said

"But I am betting there is a hell of a family resemblance" Sands said, he was more than a little pissed off.

"What is… " that was Sara.. Sands tilted his head her way , a movement that did enough to convey how very, very wise to keep quiet around now

"Indeed, there was a lot of hidden family in the family business" she said

"How.."Sands again

"How much?.. I am willing to guess your more than half way there, you want me to fill in the blanks"

"Well if you could" he said in an icy tone, that warned not to make too many glib reference to the lack of eyes in his head

"Nice work by the way, what I can see behind the shades" she said

Sands kept silent "Ok.. I had to be careful, " Jaque continued "The family business is all shot to Hell, and well laid plans went out the window, literally as it happens. " She looked over at Sara suspiciously "How much does this thing know?" she said, though that was not all there was behind the hostility

"Next to nothing, and I still don't know enough, so you and sis what was it?"

"Daddy liked his deep cover, one in the police, that inside line covered, one a lawyer, to give the inside line on that, he also liked competition, Ajedrez liked to win, you might have noticed, she liked to think big"

"So she was getting the Cartel… and you?"

"I was meant to be a secret second in command, " she gave Sara a disdainful look "If you haven't got it yet, she and I were twins, identical" she said "Throw people off balance, the myth of being invulnerable, someone who really could be in two places at once"

"So you were in the shade, and didn't care for it much?" Sands said

"There is a whole lot of stuff I didn't like much, but Daddy was a man one didn't say no to too often, and still have a tongue to speak"

"And your telling me this why?" Sands said in a tone of total disinterest

"I didn't know what happened, I knew I had to get out of there, before the day of the dead, disappear, I knew Ajedrez was planning on killing me after she took over, so I dropped of the radar, totally, but I heard eventually what happened, to her, Father, you" she said that more softly than the harshness she said the other names with

"And when you knew, you made this little set up, why?" he said

"Cos a job needs finishing once started" she stated

"my thoughts exactly" said in deadly cold tones to her

"So you'd kill me just because I resemble her?" she said

"Well I can't kill her twice can I?" Sands said with a smile

"What makes you so sure you killed her first time?" Jaque said, taking a moment for that little gem to take hold


	15. Chapter 15A Different kind of Mad

**Chapter 15 Different kinds of Mad**

**Disclaimer sadly Sands is not mine, but Sara and Jaque are. **

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews, it really makes my day to get feed back on how the Chpts work, cos I literally make it up as I am typing it, pun in there.. but its true. Because of it I really, really do appreciate hearing if anything in there is working, especially on this one as I have written in on very little, well no sleep .. **

Sara made sure she locked on Sands face, to read the reaction, no more the explosion, after all she had been able to piece together a fair bit of what happened on the Day of the Dead, from his talking a little when drugged up by the doctors, or in the nightmares. She definitely got the impression that killing this Ajedrez person ,now in her absence supplied with a face, had been a matter of some twisted satisfaction to Sands and a serious part of him keeping any sort of balance after that day, after the torture. She kept looking, and a cold feeling crept over her, not fear, she was already full to the brim with that, but with panic, and no, as some part of her brain that was hiding under the mental equivalent of the bed, was pointing out; that was really not quite the same thing. This was different because the cause was different, Sands was not reacting one little bit, and that had to mean he had tipped over and totally lost it; a full catatonic episode she mentally kicked herself, cos lets face it just now that little job was vacant from the irritating man who normally did it. She had know Mexico was a mistake, the man seemed strong, but that was all bravado, he had to be hanging on by a thread and she had sanctioned this little trip that was to push him completely over the edge..

Sara let out a slightly ragged sigh "Sands?" she tried "Can you hear me?" she said very gently.

"Does this place do lobotomies while you wait Watson?" he said without warning "Of course I can hear you.. it's the eyes, Doll, not the ears, basic anatomy 101, what the hell do they teach you doctors these days? " he smirked slightly "I swear just when I didn't think it possible these Doctors go down again in my estimation" he said towards Jaque, in a conspiratorial tone

Sara let out a deeply frustrated sigh, she had actually worried about this pain in the arse, as anger flared through her she kicked him hard on the shin "That was not remotely funny!" she shouted

Sands grabbed his wrist "Remember that Hippocratic oath.. that 'do no harm' thing your meant to swear to keep.. well I don't get even close to keeping it.. never took it, so don't be starting with me Watson" he said at a level of coldness set several feet below absolute zero. He then dropped her wrist as if she were contaminated, and 'looked' back at Jaque "Well, that's a mighty interesting tale, real.. improbable" he said.. giving a slight glare in Sara's direction for ruining his dramatic pause by freaking on him, didn't she know timing was everything when telling a joke.

"I am not her" Jaque repeated

"Sure, you just sound the same.. smell the same.. and according to you even look the same.. if it fucks like a duck, or some such thing" he said, though his tone was set at dangerous.

"Here" she took his hand and moved it under her top, so he could touch the skin on her stomach "You shot her here, I have my sources, I know that. I am not her, right" she stated

Sands tilted his head, no wound, nothing, just soft warm flesh, that would could not heal completely so fast, and it wasn't that there was no wound, there was nothing, no scar, nothing,, well there was something… a very slight change in Jaque's breathing, unnoticeable to most, but he was not most, he liked to remind himself, so what if he salved his little ego a bit' he told himself he was due something

In a tone of a barb wrapped in pure silk, and his hand still on her, he said "You haven't told me why Ajedrez wanted you dead" he almost murmured

"Oh.. that.. that was all totally your fault, she decided to kill me at the same time she got all bent out of shape with you. You know before she was all for trying to turn you and offering you a nice high up place in the cartel, she always said you were dirty in. more ways than one" Jaque said with a smile "It was all going peachy for her, you, daddy.. the Cartel handed to her on a plate.. and then you just had to screw the pooch" she stated

"And that really did it, cos she was not just mad, but double mad," Sands said, it had taken months for her to calm down, or at least appear to.

"Oh very mad, killing spree mad" Jaque said with a smirk

"Anyone care to clue me in?" Sara said irritably

"No!" they both said in unison.. Sands took a drink of tequila, and tried the pilbil "Oh. This is good enough to almost shoot the cook" Sands said. ."Wanna have a bite of my pork, it's the world" he said

"Once bitten twice shy" Jaque retorted

"Oh shy just ain't in your genes Doll" he said

"What is 'living la vida loca'?" she asked

"Oh no, that's my act, not your double act" Sands countered


	16. Chapter 16 Intimate Strangers

**Chapter 16 Intimate Strangers.**

Sands doesn't belong to me, only my O.C.s do. Reviews very welcome 

Sara's fear at the start of this meeting was being steadily replaced by anger, it simmered long and slow. Anyone with eyes could see this Jaque was flirting with Sands, even those without eyes seemed to have caught on to that too, she had never disliked that smirk of his so much, and no she told herself, she was definitely not going to analyse herself to ask why, she was not her own patient, that arrogant broken man was. He had to be broken, after all that had happened to him. She ignored the fact when broken she had got closer to him, seen more of what he thought, even if it was just nightmares. She was thinking too much, she snapped at herself and took a drink of tequila, reminding herself she really didn't like him.

Jaque gave a chuckle "Loca, maybe you are Sands, but I have to wonder, how much I am on your revenge list too" she said

"As far as I've known I have never met you, so what could I possibly have against you?" Sands mused

"You know that's not true, surely. We have met" she pointed out

"Ah and I thought I had phrased it so cleverly, ok then we are, strangers"

"I doubt someone being a stranger has kept them off your 'to kill' list" she said "And you don't just kill strangers, Sands" she added "Ajedrez is hiding, deep.. to the earths core deep, and you need someone who knows how she thinks to find her, I am the only one who does, and has the motivation to help you"

"That motivation would be?" he said as if disinterested

"Staying alive, hence the question of your intentions with me" she said

"Oh definitely dishonourable'' he purred "Going for top rat status are you? But do, just for my own edification, explain why you are so edgy that I might want to kill you too? He said 'looking in her direction

"Don't tell me you haven't worked it out?" she said reluctant to say too much

"Assume I want to hear it anyway" he pointed out

"We did meet, several months ago, several times, and Ajedrez decided to kill me for it, it wasn't my choice, father never wanted one of us to have a total monopoly of information, or power, so for a few times, when Ajedrez proposed to him, you might be useful to turn, he sent me to meet you and report back how I found you too"

"That weekend in a fifth floor hotel room.. just room service, after a meal at the flying cow" Sands replied

Sara was sure, Jaque almost blushed, she certainly seemed suddenly more flustered "Yes" she hesitantly replied

"So much for it just being a little role playing.. though I guess you weren't totally lying when you said it was just different facets of you" he said dryly

"Ajedrez was.. annoyed to put it mildly, for having to share, she never was good at that, and that you, as she saw it, couldn't tell." Jaque's said

"Yeah, that would piss her off, she did posses a certain amount of ego'' Sands mused, "So, you think I owe my eyes being drilled out to that, I can see the logic" Sands said exhaling smoke

"So, does that get me dead?" she asked in an almost blasé voice

"Its gets her still top of the dead list, she after all watched said blinding" Sands said, ''and I figure your useful in setting up the big dance number, in keeping alive, Honey, your face is your fortune" Sands said, with an amused tone ''plus it was a damn fine weekend" he said smiling

Sara was sure that Jaque breathed a sigh of relief, before she stood and made as if casually leaving, to not draw attention to herself "You should eat here again soon, maybe Tuesday, we might bump into each other again" she said "I'd like that" she added leaning over and kissing his cheek very gently.

"I might just do that, it could be… fun" he said in similar casual tones.

Jaque's walked out of the bar, with a satisfied air, and air of owning the place, that was nothing to do with the fact that she did actually own it.

"Your not really believing her are you?" Sara said incredulously, and a mite louder than she meant too

Sands chuckled and leaned towards her as if just noticing something on her face, as if he could see, it was convincing, even if she knew it was false

"What do ya know, you never told me you had green eyes" he teased

"Mr Massive sized ego, do not think I am jealous, of what?" she said

"I gave her… good room service" Sands quipped "What, Watson, you think I shouldn't believe her?" He asked

"I wouldn't trust her" Sara replied

"That's not what I asked" Sands pointed out "And I did not say I trusted her, I said 'believe her', I know what she said is true, I should have worked it out at the time, but twins.. and they had deep, deep cover I am willing to bet, Barillo was not known for doing things by halves. And I know .Ajedrez, she would be spitting fire on the insult of it not being noticed, worse, I implied it was one of the better times. The time it wasn't her, so.. dead meat, from there on in.. me.. and her dearest sister" He said "I do believe if Ajedrez is still alive, she wants to kill her, for that slight, and cos she never had any intention of sharing the top job in the Cartel" he said "So she and I have a common aim" Sands pointed out "for now, " he added " its is, after all , only good business to use those who want what you want, for their own self interest, productivity goes up so much" he said

"I wouldn't know that I studied sick minds, not business practice" Sara pointed out "And your implying you are only keeping her alive until she gets you to Ajedrez" she pointed out

"That's how you read that is it.. interesting, you know that might say more about you than you know it says about me" he said "It was after all it was a real good weekend, and that might be my Achilles' heel , for all you know"

"My, a man who thinks with his dick, how unheard off" Sara said scathingly

Sands chuckled "My, you love a clichéd way of thinking don't you, it makes your job so much easier" he said "So what is it you find worse, that I might kill her anyway, or I might not?" he asked her, with an amused smirk on his face

"Both bother me" she admitted

"Well if it reassures you any, that little weekend, for all the trouble it caused to the best laid plans of rats and men, does, I have to confess, makes me go all soft, where I prefer to keep it good and hard" he said, smirk firmly fixed "And you can interpret that however you like" he teased


	17. Chpt 17 and how does that make you feel?

**Chapter 17 …And how does that make you feel?**

**Disclaimers:**** Sands is not mine**

**Please Review**

Sara paused a moment as they were served coffee, she told herself she was taking a professional amount of time to study Sands reaction.Bbut it really didn't take that long to assess, what he kept hidden, remained stubbornly hidden. What he let show was not too hard to read; more than a smidgen of anger and frustration in there.. what was really taking all her professional efforts and time was to assess how she was taking this. "So what now?" she asked as she set her coffee cup down

"You pay the bill.. I'd recommend cash.. not some traceable thing, as a general rule." Sands stated, in a detached tone

"I know that much" Sara replied with more than a hint of irritation in her voice, which Sands simply smiled at

"So you do, I keep forgetting your part agent, part mind-doctor" he said with that amused tone in his voice

"You make me sound like some hybrid creature" she complained

"Like a mermaid, part fish.. part woman.. luring men to their doom with your siren call" he teased "Mermaids, whores and death" he mused

"What did you call me!" she retorted

"I never called you a thing, "Sands said with a sigh " I was commenting on mermaids, in ancient times they were code, slang for a whore, and at that time, as now.. sex and death were inexplicably linked" he mused, still distantly "So you see, nothing about you in that sentence, unless you are feeling in need of confiding some deep dark secret second job you have to me? Along with your hourly rates" he quipped

"No, and that's my sole job, the being confided in, not the whoring." she pointed out

"Pity… Ah well To confide in you or not… But that supposes that I trust you enough to confide in you. Anyway I am sure my file somewhere has to say something about 'trust issues" he smirked

"Especially with women now, I guess." she said, though that was hardly a professional observation, more a jab back at him, and she mentally kicked herself for it. She held her breath, wondering just how extreme his reaction would be.

Against all her expectations he chuckled

"And there was me just absentmindedly feeding you a line, you were meant to say 'yes; they don't trust you' and you go and say something so vicious and true" he said back, in a tone she couldn't quite place. "Cos yeah.. with women I guess I don't see it coming, aren't they all the same.. that's a joke about twins, before you go overboard psychoanalysing me" he pointed out, sharply.

Sara took a breath, and tried to decide which parts of this to ask about now, and which to file away for later.. , "So you think the truth is vicious?" she chose to ask. She got the definite impression Sands would be rolling his eyes around now, he contented himself with a short almost unperceivable sigh instead.

"Only sometimes, like when its in the hands of an expert, the truth is like everything else, a weapon" he added "Its almost always more useful than a lie, find someone's truth and its your key in, to manipulate them" he said "Lies never have that power" he said "That the sort of thing you want, insight wise?" he said, as if this was all too boring and predictable

"So what is Jaque's truth, or this Ajedrez's truth?" she asked

"Just when I was losing faith in you, you go and actually ask an interesting question" he said. Despite herself Sara smiled at this praise, before remembering to ask if praise from him was a wise route to go down.

"And what do you think the answer is?" she asked

"You want it all so fast" he teasingly rebuked "What's wrong with a little foreplay?" he asked

"Foreplay?" she asked about his choice of terms

"Well if knowledge is power, and power is an aphrodisiac, then what else is this but a little mental foreplay" he added

"Ok.. I will leave that one for now" she said, trying to hide a smile.

"Well, you're the psycho- analytical one" he said adopting a red neck southern drawl "But I can let slip a lil of the plan, Ma'am, and soon as I work out which one is the evil twin.. its " he gestured a gun with two fingers and then firing it "right between the eyes" he joked

"Not a really scientific approach" Sara sighed

"Hell isn't that 'pot' and 'kettle' " he said "Your game isn't really science at all.. you psychologists are really all perverts" he said smiling provocatively

"You're the one that thinks the truth is foreplay" she retorted

"That's positively innocent compared to your lots little Freud's Oedipus fantasy at the heart of it all.. all sex and death and what the hell.. throw in a mermaid there too, make a party of it" he taunted as he stood.

"So how did you get on with your mother?" she fired back at him

Sands laughed "She was a cold fish.. or did she just have a fishes tail.. you tell me" he chuckled "Come on" he said standing and taking her hand and pulling her up next to him "We have places to go" he said

Sara nodded, "What just happened there?" she asked

"What? You thinking I have intimacy issues?" he smirked, at her being unable to predict his sudden change of subject. But really that was the reason for it, to show her she couldn't read him, that she was not that close.

"You know the jargon.. " she said, in a tone that gave him no credit for it "You been on someone's couch for a long, long time, or did you just pick it up from a book?" she asked, determined to give him no credit, she had already fallen into talking and laughing too easily with him, she could not let this slide any further into something more familiar, than strictly professional, her job was still to assess him.

"You're the one able to read my file" he pointed out as he walked towards the street.

Sara sighed, paid the bill hurriedly and caught up with him outside.

"Ok, what now?" she asked, the man was infuriating.

"Get me a taxi.. we are going on a little trip" he said

"Where to?" she asked as a taxi pulled up and they got inside

"My place" he said.. a slight tease in his voice.

"Ok.. I get it, you can do the innuendo and sexual tension thing, and I also get that the next woman to hit the sack with you.. "

"Needs her head examining?" he cut in, with that damn smirk

"I was going to say, is to be pitied" she finished

"Ouch.. that cuts to the quick, " he said,

"I.. I didn't mean it like that" she stuttered, "Why do you make everything about sex, I meant it about how well balanced you'd be" she said

"Wasn't me that did that; make the whole deal about sex... your little hero Freud did that.. saying all that dirty stuff about mom, and making Pop's all nervous around me" he teased "But you needn't worry, that way.. your quite safe" He said casually

Sara looked at him, from him this almost seemed an insult. She was going to make a sharp, cutting witty comment, the kind that would make him do that little smirk of his, and fire something right back at her, as soon as she could think of one. But the Taxi parked up before she could "Ahhh we are here.. my place, well not my real place, I am not going back there, with Cartels war going on,.. and the Barillo Cartel maybe not having me on their Christmas card list" he said "Pay the man" he said as he got out

Sara sighed and did so.. getting out and found Sands trying to place exactly where he was in the street "Green door?" he said

"Oh" Sara said catching on as the Taxi sped away "Its here" she took his arm and walked towards it

"Great, but I want the alley three houses down from it, ever see the graveyard scene in the good the bad and the Ugly?… and I don't trust Taxi drivers" he said

"I saw the film.. oh.. ok.. " she said, as she realized he had hidden the exact hiding place, and wondering if this counted as paranoid probably not, when people really were plotting against you "ok we are at the alley" she said when they got there

"There is a little room.. more a shack at the end of it" he handed her a key "A bolthole, my unofficial safe house.. safe-shack.. one of a few, if I ever really felt the need to disappear.. and you know keep on breathing" he explained as they got inside the place, Sands insisting she locked the door again once they were inside.

Sara looked around.. it was a small place, a few odd home comforts, a bed, a old beat up armchair and a bottle of tequila with a light coating of dust. She then read the titles of the books he had on a bookshelf, several she never expected to be in his library. She then got fascinated in a strange collection of fake moustaches, that he had for some bizarre reason.

At a noise she turned and saw him lifting a floorboard under the bed, and retrieving an arsenal of pistols and semi-automatics and stacks of ammo. .it suddenly brought home with a fearful chill to her bones that this was real. People were going to die. .they might die.. she suddenly realized her breathing was shallow and rapid with fear

"What are you planning?" she asked

Sands ignored her a moment, as he loaded the guns into a large bag "Got to stir things up a little, when this Cartel war is going on, Ajedrez is going to stay hidden, I plan on settling things and getting her out in the open" he said

"And then you are going to kill her?" Sara asked

"Well I wasn't going to propose" he stated.. as he zipped up the bag "Anyway.. this damn Cartel war throws off the balance here, it needs evening out" he said

"Balance again?" she said, as if this made him the most unbalanced man on the planet "What in Gods name makes you think this makes sense to do, that you .. we can survive, messing with the Cartels?" she said with horror

"Hate to break it to you Sugarbut.. But why do you think the CIA let me come back here? To do this, to restore the balance, its what I do. Plus the little other details, that I know what's going on in the Barillo Cartel better than most; saw too much remember?" he added.

"But you.. I could die" she stated, as if he had to be hard of hearing to have not missed that little gems importance

"Yeah" he grinned "But its not half as much fun, if you know your gonna survive" he said. "Anyway.. its only gonna be me they are aiming at.. run at the right moment.. and you'll be fine, unless your caught in the cross fire" he said with a shrug

"I was only meant to assess you" she protested

"Bull" he stated as they left the Shack "You are here to help me, and you know it, and you knew all along what sort of thing I was going to be doing down here" he stated "And now we have to go meet the guy who wants to run Barillo's Cartel, see it puts a little dent in my plans if he succeeds." He said

"What are you, we going to do?" she asked

"Go pay him a visit, I know where he lives" Sands stated as he tossed her his car keys

"We are going to be outnumbered by really bad men" she said nervously

"I got lots of guns" Sands said leaning into her whispering it conspiratorially

"I don't feel that much better about it" Sara said nervously

"We got trust issues baby?" he said with a smile as they got in his car


End file.
